Stepping Up - Volume 2, Number 3
“…Forgetting
the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of
the race and receive the prize for which god, through Christ Jesus, is
calling us up to heaven” (Phil 3: 13b-14).
Welcome.
Each month we feature practical information that you can use in your life and
family. Please feel free to contact us with feedback, questions or comments
via phone at: 1-888-5IBSTEP or email: info@Instepministries.com.
About InStep Ministries
We are a faith-based nonprofit organization dedicated to
providing resources, support, counsel and encouragement to singles, single-parents
and stepfamilies and to those who minister to them. Our passion is equipping
people for life. Our mission is to provide resources and services that
are practical, Biblical, relevant and affordable. To learn more about
InStep, visit our website: www.instepministries.com
A Stepfamily Moment
Philippians
3:13-14 has special meaning for stepfamilies. “Forgetting the
past;” how does that relate to stepfamily life? Well, for sure it does
not mean, “I don’t remember the past.” or “The past
is just irrelevant.” For me, it means letting go of the past. We are
not our past, nor do we have to allow our past to define us. You can be free
from the harm done to you or the harm you caused others. We all need
forgiveness and most of us need to grieve losses, especially the loss of our
dreams—what might have been. God wants you to be free and whole. Paul
determined the only way to do that was to look forward. Healthy relationships
are tough when we are stuck in our past. Are you ready to let God heal your
past so you can move on to the life of freedom God has in store for you?
Three New Resources
Call 1-888-5INSTEP TO ORDER
How to Start and Lead a Stepfamily Support Group—
a complete “how to” manual
How to
Succeed as a Stepfamily—a small group study
for stepfamilies
Second
Chances— a small group study for couples
considering remarriage
Remarriage-Stepfamily Coaching
Stepfamilies contact us from all parts of the country.
To be more available, we are now providing coaching by phone. To find out
more about coaching, call our office 1-888-5INSTEP.
A Singles Moment
There
is a new book out called, He’s Just Not That Into You.
The book’s purpose is to help girls understand and interpret the
language and behavior of guys, most of whom, according to the authors, are
“just not that into them.” The authors believe many girls
needlessly struggle in relationships and stay with guys who are really not
that interested. Here is what the authors say, “… man would
rather be trampled by elephants that are on fire than tell you that
he’s just not into you” “We wanted to get the excuses out
of the closet…”
What
concerns me about the dating described in books like this is the unfortunate
lack of honesty and the need to learn how to “decipher” the words
and behavior of another so as to not get hurt. I understand why so many
singles I talk to shy away from relationships. Yet, I believe a relational
God created us for relationships; consequently, we have relational needs.
These needs draw us into relationships, which we hope will be mutual and
healthy. Unfortunately, due to past experiences, many of us are emotionally
and spiritually wounded and have difficulty with intimacy. We have a hard
time trusting—so we keep our guard up. Since intimacy requires
vulnerability and disclosure (trust words), our tendency to self-protect actually
prevents the very thing we want. So we move toward one another with the hope
that we may actually find someone who accepts us for who are, while at the
same time, hiding at least part of our true self for fear of being hurt
(again). Many of us settle for something less than true intimacy, which is
ultimately unfulfilling. Unless we come to grips with this dilemma, we will
choose the same types of unhealthy partners, over and over, with the same
outcomes. We need to develop healthy friendships that can evolve into healthy
relationships. The goal is not to find the right person, but the right
relationship. Ultimately, we must learn how to trust, and to allow others to
love us. Without trust, we cannot be loved. Without trust, we hide our real
selves and project a false self that we hope (but doubt) will be accepted
(loved).
Healthy Relationships Seminar
In
April, Dr. Parziale will be continuing his series, Developing Healthy
Relationships. This series is sponsored by Equally Yoked Christian Singles,
but is always open to the public.
For more information, call EY at 520-882-9778 or InStep
at 520-721-0800.
Relationship Coaching
Singles
can get coaching on a variety of subjects, including changing relationship
patterns, dealing with emotional and spiritual wounds and developing a
healthier lifestyle. Call 1-888-5INSTEP for more information.
Get Involved
- Join the Association of Marriage
and Family Ministries (AMFM) and attend their
conference in
Remarriage-Stepfamily Coaching
Stepfamilies contact us from all parts of the country.
To increase our availability, we now provide coaching by phone. Call our
office 1-888-5INSTEP and arrange for a 30 or 60 minute coaching call.
Relationship Coaching
Singles
can get coaching on a variety of subjects, including changing relationship
patterns, dealing with emotional and spiritual wounds and developing a
healthier lifestyle. Call our office to arrange for a 30 or 60 minute
coaching call.
Get Involved!
- Join the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries
(AMFM) and attend their conference in
Upcoming Events
- April 2nd,
- April 24th
- September 9-10, 2005
- May 24-26, 2005 NACC
Conference,
- August, 2005, AMFM
Conference,
Call 520-721-0800 for details and other
InStep activities.
Call 1-888-5INSTEP for coaching information or to order resources
If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell a
friend. If you would like to start a support group or stepfamily ministry in
your area, please contact us—we can help.
InStep is a 501(c) (3) nonprofit
ministry. Donations are tax-deductible and always welcome. Please keep us in
your prayers.
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Instep
Ministries is a 501(c)(3) non-profit orgainization dedicated to serving the
Christian community by providing practical, Biblical resources, support and
counsel to single divorced and remairried individuals, their families and the
churches who minister to them.