Stepping Up - Volume 2, Number 5

“My perfect love casts out all your fears” God (I John 4:18)

Welcome. Each month we feature practical information for your life and family. Please feel free to contact us with feedback, questions or comments via phone at: 1-888-5INSTEP (toll-free) or email: info@instepministries.com.

About InStep Ministries

A Stepfamily Moment:
Holding the Cup

Stepfamilies are born of loss, which means that stepcouples and their children may experience sorrow in the midst of the new family’s formation. Additionally, the early years of stepfamily development are characterized by changes, challenges, and conflict that leave family members feeling angry and disappointed. How is a stepfamily to cope with these negative feelings?

Henri Nouwen writes, “We all must hold the cups of our lives. As we grow older and become more fully aware of the many sorrows of life - personal failures, family conflicts, disappointments in work and social life, and the many pains surrounding us on the national and international scene - everything within and around us conspires to make us ignore, avoid, suppress, or simply deny these sorrows. "Look at the sunny side of life and make the best of it," we say to ourselves and hear others say to us. But when we want to drink the cups of our lives, we need first to hold them, to fully acknowledge what we are living, trusting that by not avoiding but befriending our sorrows we will discover the true joy we are looking for right in the midst of our sorrows.”

God has a purpose behind every problem, and every circumstance in our life is used by God to help us become more Christlike. Holding your cup means to accept the changes, challenges and conflicts knowing that God is in control and will use all the aspects of stepfamily life to help you become the person He wants you to be. So embrace your disappointments and sorrows, and then ask God to take them in exchange for His joy. His joy will provide you with the strength to carry on.

Three New Resources
Call 1-888-5INSTEP TO ORDER

How to Start and Lead a Stepfamily Support Group — a comprehensive “how to” manual
How to Succeed as a Stepfamily — a 10-week small group study for stepfamilies
Second Chances — a 10-week small group study for couples considering remarriage

Remarriage-Stepfamily Coaching

Stepfamilies contact us from all parts of the country. To be more available, we are now providing coaching by phone. To find out more about coaching, call or email us.

A Singles Moment
Ready to Try Again?

Are you controlled by fear? Do you avoid relationships because of fear? Below are some tips for facing your fear.

• Realize you are never alone (Joshua 1:9; Is. 41:10)
• Learn to live life in the present
• Stay connected to others
• Acknowledge your fear, do not deny or avoid it (Ps. 23:4)
• Recognize your fear patterns—fear is self-reinforcing
• Change your response to fear—form new beliefs; replace fear with the behavior you want (John 8:32; Heb. 13:5-6)
• Stop believing the lies that lurk beneath your fears
• Take in compliments; accept what others say.
• Love others from your fullness in Christ (Phil 2:3-4)
• Learn from mistakes and constructive criticism
• Stop punishing yourself
• Learn to forgive and accept yourself
• Celebrate your successes; build on your strengths.
• Take great care of yourself
• Take a step at a time and celebrate each step
• Trust God’s love—His perfect loves casts out fear (I John 4:18)

Healthy Relationships Seminar

Dr. Parziale will be continuing his series, “Developing Healthy Relationships.” This series is sponsored by Equally Yoked Christian Singles, but is always open to the public.

Tucson: Saturday, June 4, 2005; 10 AM to 1 PM; Address: 5515 E Grant #210-A
Phoenix: Saturday, June 11, 2005; 10 AM to 1 PM; Address: 5125 N. 16th #C

You can also hear Dr. Parziale speak at Pantano Christian Church on the first and third Fridays at 7:00 PM. All singles are welcome.

For more information, call InStep at 520-721-0800.

Relationship Coaching

Singles can get coaching on a variety of subjects, including boundaries, goal-setting, changing relationship patterns, dealing with emotional and spiritual wounds and developing a healthier lifestyle.

Get Involved!

• Join the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) and attend their conference in Scottsdale this August. Website: www.amfmconference.com
• Tucson: Friday Night Single Moms Program, taught by Lynda Barnes, hosted by Pantano Christian Church - 10355 E. 29th Street. Dinner, 6 PM. Adults $3, kids free. Class at 7:00. Childcare provided from 6:30-9:30 PM. Call 520-298-5395.
• Tucson: Stepcouple Support Group; 1st and 3rd Tuesdays. 7 PM at the home of Ron and Jane Lowery, 6880 E. Hawthorne, 290-1094.
• Tucson: Celebrate Recovery—Tuesdays at Casas Adobes Baptist and Fridays at Pantano Christian.
• Tucson: Tucson Association of Evangelicals—May 12th, 11:30, First Evangelical Free Church on North Lawn

Upcoming Events

• May 24-26, 2005 NACC Conference, Corona, Calif. InStep exhibit.
• August 9-13 2005; AMFM Conference, Scottsdale, AZ; InStep Workshops and Exhibit

Call 520-721-0800 or email us: info@instepministries.com
for details and updates on InStep activities.

Call 1-888-5INSTEP for coaching information or to order resources

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell a friend. If you would like to start a support group or stepfamily ministry in your area, please contact us—we can help.

InStep is a 501(c) (3) nonprofit ministry. Donations are tax-deductible and always welcome.

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Instep Ministries is a 501(c)(3) non-profit orgainization dedicated to serving the Christian community by providing practical, Biblical resources, support and counsel to single divorced and remairried individuals, their families and the churches who minister to them.