Stepping Up: Volume 2 Number 8

Welcome. Each month we feature practical information that you can use in your life and family. Please feel free to contact us with feedback, questions or comments via phone at: 1-888-5INSTEP (toll free) or email: info@instepministries.com.

In This Issue

1) A Personal Thought - Will You Cross the Road?
2) A Stepfamily Moment - Minding Our Moods
3) A Singles Moment - Avoiding Unhealthy Choices
4) A Single Parent Moment - Nurturing Your Children’s Dreams

A Personal Thought

Will You Cross the Road?

We are challenged by Henri Nouwen’s interpretation of “my neighbor”. He writes, "Love your neighbor as yourself," the Gospel says (Matthew 22:38). But who is my neighbor? We often respond to that question by saying: "My neighbors are all the people I am living with on this earth, especially the sick, the hungry, the dying, and all who are in need." But this is not what Jesus says. When Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29-37) to answer the question "Who is my neighbor?" he ends by asking: "Which, do you think, proved himself a neighbor to the man who fell into the bandits' hands?" The neighbor, Jesus makes clear, is not the poor man laying on the side of the street, stripped, beaten, and half dead, but the Samaritan who crossed the road, "bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them …lifted him onto his own mount and took him to an inn and looked after him." My neighbor is the one who crosses the road for me! Are you a “road-crosser”?

A Stepfamily Moment

Minding Our Moods

The daily trials associated with stepfamily life often challenge our emotional and spiritual lives. The ups and downs of our emotional life depend a great deal on our present surroundings. There may be days when we are happy, sad, angry, depressed, loving, caring, hateful, or vengeful because of what happened long ago or what is happening now. Although it is sometimes hard to control our emotional life and moods, we can gradually overcome them by living a well-disciplined spiritual life.

The ups and downs of our spiritual lives depend on our obedience – that is, our attentive listening - to the movements of the Spirit of God within us. The Psalmist writes in 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” Without this listening, our spiritual life eventually becomes subject to the windswept waves of our emotions. If we will get up each morning and take the time to read the Gospels, pray the Psalms and thank God for a new day, our emotions will loose their power over us.

Resources for you and/or your ministry! Call 1-888-5INSTEP TO ORDER

How to Start and Lead a Stepfamily Support Group~ a comprehensive “how to” manual How to Succeed as a Stepfamily~ a 10-week small group studies for stepfamilies Second Chances~ a 10-week small group study for couples considering remarriage New Preparing Couples for Remarriage~ a “how to” workbook for pastors Developing Healthy Relationships~ a guide for singles

A Singles Moment

Avoiding Unhealthy Choices

Do you want to make healthy relationships choices? Start by avoiding these five pitfalls. Remember, this is your life-now. Singleness is not a practice run for real life.

1. Expecting others to make your life interesting, enjoyable and rewarding rather than developing your own gifts and finding interest, fulfillment and reward in yourself. 2. Entering into relationships more to have your own needs met rather than contributing to others. 3. Placing blame on others when problems occur. Avoiding accountability or responsibility rather than “owning” your behavior and choices. 4. Looking for the “perfect” partner, instead of developing healthy friendships. Discarding those who don’t measure up to your standards. 5. Isolating yourself and never involving your support network in your relationship choices. Excerpts from Developing Healthy Relationships by Dr. Jeff Parziale

A Single Parent Moment

Nurturing Your Children’s Dreams

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

How do we nurture our children’s dreams? Know your children uniquely and individually. Make an effort to learn their personality bents, their interests and their yearnings. Here are some ideas: • Take weekly trips to the library. Plan on being there for at least an hour so your children can meander and dawdle. They need time to discover their interests. • Read together as a family whenever you can. This type of interaction promotes wonderful discussions. • Start thinking seriously about college when your children reach ninth grade. You do not have to make decisions yet, but the more research you do, the more opportunities for learning (and financing that learning) you’ll discover. • Commit your children’s dreams to the Lord.

Our children’s dreams often seem out of reach. However, through our words, our faith and our example, we can assure them that God’s plans for them will exceed anything they can imagine.
Barbara Schiller, Executive Director, Single Parent Family Resources

Healthy Relationships Seminar

Dr. Parziale will be continuing his Developing Healthy Relationships series. This series is sponsored by Equally Yoked Christian Singles, but is always open to the public.

Tucson:
Saturday August 20, 2005 from 10 AM to 1 PM
Address: 5515 E Grant #210-A, Tucson AZ

Phoenix:
Saturday, August 6th and August 27, 2005 from 10 AM to 1 PM
Address: 5125 N. 16th #C, Phoenix AZ

For more information about these seminars, call InStep at 520-721-0800.

Relationship Coaching

Singles--get coaching on a variety of subjects, including emotional needs, boundaries, goal-setting, changing relationship patterns, dealing with emotional and spiritual wounds and developing a healthier lifestyle.

Get Involved

• Join the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM): Attend the 2nd Annual Conference at the Scottsdale Fairmont Princess Hotel, August 10-13 2005. Register via website at: www.amfmconference.com

• Tucson: Friday Night Singles: Pantano Christian Church-10355 E. 29th. Street. Dr. Parziale speaks on the 1st and 3rd Fridays at 7 PM. Everyone is welcome.

• Tucson: Friday Night Single Moms program, taught by Lynda Barnes, hosted by Pantano Christian Church-10355 E. 29th Street. Dinner: adults $3, kids free at 6 PM. Class begins at 7:00. Childcare provided from 6:30-9:30 PM. Call 520-298-5395.

• Tucson: Stepcouple Support Group: 1st and 3rd Tuesdays at 7 PM. Hosted by Ron and Jane Lowery, 6880 E. Hawthorne. For information call: 520-290-1094.

• Tucson: Celebrate Recovery: Tuesday nights at Casas Adobes Baptist Church and Fridays nights at Pantano Christian. Coming soon to Victory Assembly.

• Tucson: Single Parent Support Group Tuesday nights at 7 PM. Call Evelyn: 878-1101.

• Tucson: Tucson Association of Evangelicals: September 8, 2005 at 11:30 AM, Neuva Vida Church, Sam Santana, Pastor. Address: 330 W Nebraska Street, Tucson, AZ. For information call: 520-889-5422.

Contact InStep Ministries

phone: 520-721-0800 or 1-888-5INSTEP
email: info@instepministries.com

InStep is a nonprofit ministry. Donations are tax-deductible and always welcome.

Copyright © 2005 InStep Ministries