Stepping Up

Volume 3 Number 1

Stepping Up

Volume 3 Number 1

Personal Moment
January is an exciting month for Judi and I. The Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) is sponsoring a gathering of stepfamily ministries from around the country. InStep Ministries will be hosting this event January 20-22, 2006 in Tucson. In the next few newsletters, we will provide an overview of these incredible ministries. Stay tuned for many exciting new resources.

A Stepfamily Moment
New stepfamilies are quite familiar with the challenges and stress that occur in the early years of stepfamily formation. These challenges can often exhaust us both emotionally and spiritually, especially when we realize that stepfamily bonding takes time. Do not be discouraged because God loves to take people at the end of their rope and set them on the road to peace, joy and victory. After all, He “makes all things new” (Rev 21:5). He never leads you back, just forward.

As we begin the New Year, whatever challenges you are facing, remember that “the Lord longs to be gracious to you” (Isaiah. 30:18). The word gracious means “to show favor.” Therefore, there are 365 days to fan the flames of your unfilled hopes and dreams. Everyday is a gift full of promise, but you must first accept God’s grace, unwrap it and use it. This year, seek God and determine your goals. Then release the outcome to Him who “longs to be gracious to you.” And remember, the desire of God’s heart is that you walk in His grace and favor very day of this year.

A Singles Moment
Setting healthy relationship boundaries is an important task, yet most of the singles we talk to have poorly defined boundaries, at best. One of the reasons is that singles believe some of the myths outlined below. Paul reminds us in Galatians 6: 5 that we are each responsible for our own conduct. So, do not buy in to these false ideas:

• If I set boundaries, I am being selfish.
• Boundaries are a sign of disobedience.
• If I set boundaries, I will hurt others.
• Boundaries mean that I am angry.
• Boundaries cause feelings of guilt.
• Boundaries violate God’s call to be humble and submissive.

Setting healthy boundaries does not violate God’s call to love or serve. In your relationships, be able to articulate who you are, what you need and what you are able to give. Pray and ask God to help you identify your unhealthy boundaries, to discern His truth, and to assist you in forming healthy relationship boundaries.

Single Parent Moment
Am I Ready for Another Relationship?
Readiness is an important principle and it’s not just about you. A bigger question may be, “Are my children ready?” It takes children at least a year longer to work through their grief and to adjust to the changes of a death or divorce. Many adults remarry long before their children are ready. So, what are some indicators that your child may not be “ready?” Here are a few:

• Acting out at home or school
• Poor grades
• Emotionality (sadness or depression)
• Hoarding things (food, clothing, etc.)
• Withdrawal from friends or family members
• Poor processing of emotions (anger or rage)

Take the time to allow your child to grieve. Change is hard enough for adults; it is really hard on children who feel they have no control over what is happening in their lives. Take great care of yourself and your children. Remember, any relationship you pursue is a package deal.

Healthy Relationships Seminar
Dr. Parziale will be continuing his series, Developing Healthy Relationships. This series is sponsored by Equally Yoked Christian Singles, but is always open to the public. January’s topic is “Setting Healthy Relationship Boundaries”.

TUCSON: Saturday, January 14, and February 11, 2006 from 10 AM to 1 PM
Address: 5515 E Grant #210-A, Tucson, AZ

PHOENIX: January 7, and February 4, 2006 from 10 AM to 1 PM
Address: 5125 N. 16th #C, Phoenix, AZ
For more information, call InStep at 520-721-0800.

Get Involved

• Join the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM).
  Attend the 2006 East Coast or West Coast conference. Website: www.amfmonline.com
• Tucson: Friday Night Singles: Pantano Christian Church-10355 E. 29th. Street. Dr. Parziale speaks on the 1st and 3rd Fridays at 7 PM. Any single is welcome.
• Tucson: Stepcouple Support Group: 1st and 3rd Tuesdays at 7 PM. Hosted by Ron and Jane Lowery, 6880 E. Hawthorne. For information call: 520-290-1094.
• Tucson: Single Parent Support Group at Casas Church; Tuesday nights at 7 PM. Call Evelyn Wright: 520 878-1101.
• Tucson: Tucson Association of Evangelicals: join pastors and leaders for fellowship on January 12, 2006 11:30 AM, St. Andrews Presbyterian Church Joe Bettridge, Pastor Address: 7650 N. Paseo del Norte For information call: 520-297-7201 x203.

For details and updates on InStep activities,
call 520-721-0800 or email us: InStepmin@aol.com

New Resource: Thirsty People Sitting by Wells: Developing a Stepfamily Ministry in Your Local church. This new workbook will guide a stepfamily ministry team through the steps of developing a stepfamily ministry in their church. This publication includes InStep’s “Continuum of Care” model. Due out later this month.

To order InStep resources, call 1-888-5INSTEP

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell a friend. If you would like to start a support group or stepfamily ministry in your area, please contact us-we can help.

InStep is a 501(c) (3) nonprofit ministry. Donations are tax-deductible and always welcome. Thank you for your support. Please keep us in your prayers.