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Stepfamilies

Myths About Stepfamilies

  • Blending a family is easy
  • Stepfamilies are just like nuclear families
  • Love occurs instantly between the child and the stepparent
  • Children of divorce and remarriage are forever damaged
  • Stepmothers are wicked; stepfathers are abusive
  • Adjustment to stepfamily life occurs quickly
  • Children adjust to divorce and remarriage more easily if the biological parent withdraws
  • Stepfamilies formed after a parent dies are easier
  • Only one kind of family exists
  • Stepparents should “takeover” right away
  • The new couple functions as a team right after the marriage

The Truth Is...

  • Stepfamilies and nuclear families have little in common
  • It takes five to seven years to fully integrate a stepfamily
  • Families do not “blend”; they combine
  • The first two years are turbulent
  • There are at least three kinds of stepfamilies
  • Nearly 65-70% of stepfamilies do not succeed
  • Most children are not ready for remarriage
  • The honeymoon period in many remarriages happens after all the children/stepchildren have grown and gone
  • Accurate, Biblical information can help stepfamilies survive and thrive