Stepfamily Success
A grace-based atmosphere is created in the home; initiated and modeled
by the couple. The home is a place where family members can build authentic
relationships and where they can safely identify, share, negotiate and
blend needs, concerns, disappointments, and disagreements.
Key Success Factors
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Cooperative relationship between former partners.
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Stepparent accepts and unthreatened by this involvement.
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Stepparent accepts the biological parent-child bond without seeing
this as a threat.
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Biological parent takes primary responsibility for his or her
children.
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Stepparent role is developed gradually, as parental status increases
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Insider/outsider resolution
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Flexible boundaries in place for children to move in and out
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Previous attachments resolved
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Realistic expectations
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Losses adequately grieved
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Tolerance and flexibility
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“Nuclear family” model replaced
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Adequate extended-family and community support.
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Children have positive well-being
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Marriage relationship is primary; nourishes the couple and flexes
with conflict.
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Communication and problem solving strategies are good enough to
produce reliable positive outcomes.
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Partners have adequate capacity to meet their own needs, and to
tolerate displays of negative affect.
